A Private Guy Thing

Recovering

I once again realized how hard it is to cry and not have anyone by your side. Maybe my case is just different. But the truth is, I just can't share everything to my family.

Life is still a balance of good and bad events. This week (Monday to Friday) proved to be a blessing-filled week. But my 16-hour stay at home stayed on the other side of the weighing scale. I cried. Hard.

After crying, I wondered why I don't like to cry in front of anyone else. Well, aside from the fact that crying is a private activity. Is it just innate for men to shed their tears alone?

That's the main reason why I blogged, I can't share everything to anyone, anytime. I love you blog. Don't leave me again.

Oh, and happy birthday ate Eloi!

Expectation sucks. Big time.

8:08pm

Listening to Each Tear by Mary Blige feat Jay Sean (cool song)

After a week of walking, processing papers, body meetings, nominations, assignments, frustrations, headaches, laughter and several hugs, I came to realize that much much more still needs to be done.

I just realized some things:

1. People do have fake faces that they display by default. Of course, you don't know when the real thing shows up.

2. At the end of every day, I do get stressed and get all grumpy like an old man.

3. Some people get greedy and just won't share their notes. Talk about a single formula that I wasn't able to copy. It's not an assignment dear, so don't despair. Next time, I know better. What's more disheartening, I just talked to that person the day before, and showed my assignment in Math 174.

4. Because of no.3, you just can't expect too much. Expectation sucks. Big time.

5. I have to save money. I will be working at a rate of 30 per hour, so I can't just waste money on needless things.

6. I am missing someone. Someones actually. More likely a group. But right now, I think it's a tad impossible.

I ought to smile all the way home. I just found myself an online copy of Actuarial Mathematics by Bowers et al. AMAT 171, I'm ready more than ever.

Survival Tips

Savoring the night. Next class by 11:30 tomorrow isn't anywhere near.

It's a random thought of mine, and instead of ranting about how my foot aches for hours of walking, I want to write something..useful. Or at least sensible. I wrote this a few years back. It's still unfinished, though I don't have plans of finishing it anymore.

Words From A Stolen Emotion

Your heart that aches for a reason

My heart that grew heavy but need not an explanation

His soul that long ago had cast its wrath

Two souls who chose to build a path

My eyes that slowly learned to shed

Those tears as booze crept up my head

But in the night when I will see

You eyes, though weak, saw straight through me

The smiles you fill with such a joy

But eyes t

I missed writing poems about my daily experiences. I used to pour them all out through words.

A good night everyone. Have a better day tomorrow! Well, tomorrow for me is another work-your-papers day. Sheesh. Good night!

a good start

9:49 pm

At a computer shop, pretending to be busy

It was an excitiiing day! Fun-filled to say the least. I like my professors, I like my classmates, I am liking every minute of it! I hope this feeling lasts long enough.

By the way, I am having thoughts of making another blog, one that's entirely for educational purposes. Whatcha think?

One thing I noticed: Time reaaally flies. I woke up at 7 in morning for I have to meet someone by 9. I just took a bath and ate breakfast. By the time I met my teacher, I was 15 minutes late. Another thing. Classes ended at 5pm. When I came home to the apartment, it was nearly 7pm. And right now, I am just browsing Facebook, Plurk, my mail, and how long do you think it took me? 32 minutes!

I want to share so much; about how my Math classes seemed to be so interesting all of a sudden (maybe the professor matters), my first committee meeting (I belong to an organization), and how I enjoyed this day. I was looking forward to the start of classes and my expectations surely were met.

It won't be long before I sleep, classes start tomorrow at 7am. Goood night. :D

trips and more trips

Sleepyhead, still recovering from lost energy

Who would've thought that I would have slept by 7 in the evening? A few weeks ago, I had my body clock all wrong. I used to sleep at 8 - in the morning. Maybe my body gladly cooperated for I would again be gone from the house for a day. Oh yes - Friday is Los Baños day.

Later at 1pm, I will be attending a seminar for an upcoming activity on Monday. That was the one I had mentioned in the past on this blog. Campus Tour for Freshmen. I have always dreamed of misleading those naive kids guiding them all around the campus, giving them a lot of information and gaining more friends.

Also, I would just like to share with you my "adventure" yesterday. I was again, looking at computer shops for laptops. God, I really do want one. What my mom had saved will be used to pay my tuition fee (roughly P 21, 000), so I should say goodbye to a laptop for now. Anyway, I once again marveled at those prized-possessions. Soon-to-be possessions. *wink* I don't care much about the specs, although I do want a good one. The salesmen keep on doing sales talk which was very informative (and persuasive), to say the least.

So anyone out there, with a kind heart, you might want to give me a laptop. *laughs* I will appreciate it. Really.

I'll still be catching a few hours of sleep. As I have said, a guy like me can never get enough sleep. Goood night.

Screen Caps: The Rebound

A very timely movie, for me that is. I haven't seen Catherine Zeta-Jones for some time now, and she's still in great shape. Talk about beauty. And Justin Bartha, the leading actor, also did well. It's just one of those too-good-to-be-true movies. Like the this and the that. I don't want to spoil things, just in case you might watch it in the future.

I don't recommend it to younger folks. Too many American ideologies. Arrogant, liberated kids, drugs and lust are just some of the themes in a few scenes. Though they are kept to a minimum, I don't want my brother to see how couples do it in bed. Err, I think I shouldn't have said that.

And for those folks out there, who were once taken for granted in a relationship, you can join Sandy in saying, "You dirty little f*cking sc*mbag!"

count the days

Every day is important.

I arrived home last night with a bucket full of emotions. It was a tiring day that I spent at Los Baños. First off, I was happy that we finally secured ourselves an apartment. *clap clap clap* It's a great start. But I changed mood like a pair of socks when I still failed to settle my issues on my elective. Lastly, I was forced to go home early AND with a heavy heart when I heard someone was going to Los Baños. Frankly, I do not want to see that person.

Before I got home, I went to buy two DVDs; an Asian Drama, and the other, a collection of films. But as they say, imitation products always have their downsides. The Drama had no audio, while some of the movies in the other disc had no subs. Sorry, I'm kinda dependent on subs in foreign movies. Plus, some are substandard in quality.

All I'm doing right now is to savor the last days of vacation. I can even count the days on my fingers. God. I will miss many things. More sleep. The comfort of a house. Free food. A very nice mother. A nagging adorable brother. And my own room. Privacy does matter.

On June 6, I will be going back to Los Baños for a much exciting semester of classes. Woohoo!