Leaving. Letting Go.
In a span of two days, I was amazed by the number of places I have gone to. Coastal Mall, Robinson's Summit, Glorietta, Timezone, Taguig, Alabang, Laguna, school, fastfood, Ortigas, Tektite, home. But equal also in number are the places I have left. Let's face it. You enter a mall and you exit from it. You enter school, and you finish. Yes you may enter again, but you'd also have to leave again. Even this life, I will have to leave from it.
Cliche is the line that says life is just a journey. But come to think of it, literally, we really are on a life-long journey. We pack our bags, eat something along the way. Find some things, lose some. Get hurt, learn a trick or two. Have companions, lose some of them. Travel with a group, travel alone.
While thinking of so many things, I was worried by an idea that struck me. How would I manage my life? I wanted to travel my journey carrying with me anything that I find worth keeping. But alas, I can only carry so much. I believe I have carried things to which the weight was approaching my limits. Letting go of something was never an option. Consciously that is.
In fact, I believe that being busy had kept me from valuing people I used to value before. I had forgotten birthdays (it matters to me), communication lines, short chats, used-to-do-everyday hangouts. While taking a bath yesterday, I had wanted to stop expanding my life, only to realize in a snap that that wasn't even possible.
Leaving and Letting Go is an Art
Now I believe, Leaving and Letting Go isn't just an act. It's an art. It's an art because people make their own guises to cover up leaving. Some make pretty dumb excuses, while some make really good ones. Some like to do it slowly, some like it abrupt. Some do not engage in this art, only to find out sooner or later that their artworks are just waiting in corner, and they had to pay the price of picking something up along the course of their lives.
Leaving and Letting Go isn't the same thing. You pick up a doll in your toddler years. By the onset of puberty, you didn't want it anymore. You left it. You pick up a baby bottle and suck on it. By pre-school years, you cry because you can find it anymore. You had to let go.
I leave my problems. I had to let go of some of my dreams. I left Los Banos. I had to let go of my past relationship. My mother's having a hard time to let go of me. I'm having a hard time to leave an unemployed status. I make sure that I have a good excuse for leaving home.
Inevitable
At the end of the day, we have to leave and let go of many things. Sometimes, it's not a problem since we are going to deal with it the day after. However, sometimes it does, in the case of the loss of a loved one. But, no matter who we are, we are bound to take part in this art. It's either we pick up every single thing, turn them into poorly made constructs, take none of them, and be afraid and pass up all of them, or just to create a multitude of them, and perfect them to the best our limits.
No comments:
Post a Comment