Ito na naman

3:50am


Gusto kita.

Parang pabunot ng plug sa saksakan, walang paliguy-ligoy.
Walang Changes have been made, do you want to continue? na alert.
Walang notifications kung hanggang saan na ang narating ng pagtingin ko.
Araw-araw akong umaasa.

Sa inaraw-araw na pagpasok ko sa office, routine ko na ang magbukas ng maliit na browser.
Tagal mo namang pumasok.
Refresh. Ayan, nakapasok ka na.
Makabisita nga sa workstation kung saan makikita na naman kita.

Lagi kang nakatutok sa trabaho.
Di ka man lang lumilingon.
Sa bagay, sino ba ako para lingunin.
Sa bagay, ni hindi mo nga alam na ako'y may lihim na pagtingin.

Kapag nagkasalubong tayo wala akong masabi.
Wala akong masabi na pwedeng marinig ng iba.
Uy ang cute mo ngayon. Uy gusto mo sumabay kumain? Uy ngumiti ka naman para sa akin.
Na-miss ko yung pagngiti mo na halos kinakain na ng talukap mo ang iyong mga mata.

Linggu-linggo kong tinitingnan kung may bago kang post sa wall mo.
Kung may bagong kinahuhumalingan. Bagong kanta. Bagong pupuntahan.
Sana naghihintay ka sa lalaking para sa'yo.
Kung ganoon man, heto't parating na ako.

Christian Bautista pala. Kaya kong kantahin yan para sa'yo.
Tumatakbo ka pala. Heto't nagsasanay na din ako. Sasabayan kita.
Masyado kang matalino. Ok lang, sabay tayong magpakatanga sa pag-ibig.
Ang sarap umasa. Ang sarap maghandang magmahal muli.

Alam ko ang birthday mo. Middle name mo. Phone number mo.
Kulang na lang ihatid kita sa inyo.
Kulang na lang sabihin kong ika'y aking gusto.
Kulang na lang paunlakan mo ang paanyaya ko.

Ilang araw na kitang nakilala?
Mga labimpitong araw palang pala.
May pa-gustu-gusto pa akong nalalaman.
Sabi ko na. Ito na naman.

Happy Working

9:48pm

"To be successful, the first thing to do is fall in love with your work."
-Sister Mary Lauretta

There is no perfect company. Looking further down the list, you can never also have a perfect set of friends, a perfect family, nor even a perfect life. We can only have the best attitude for every moment, or at least the most appropriate reaction to make every moment worthwhile.

I just want to share what I had experienced so far with my 7 weeks at work.


Point 0: Starting Somewhere.

I started working on June 18 as a Software Developer in a good IT company located in Ortigas. The specifics, I think, I have written previously in this blog too. As usual, I found myself experiencing a lot of firsts. Needless to say, everytime I encounter something new, I savor the moment. I tried to be at my best - arrive early, do tasks beyond expectations, speak well of myself and the company I'm working in. At times, my best still isn't enough. Soon enough will I realize, my best is yet to come.


Point 0.000 000 001, or at least anything greater than 0: Start Improving.

I can say I grew up and was nurtured in a competitive environment. In this environment, I am fully aware that no best thing exist. Everything goes down, but can also go up. Everything moves, and you'll get left behind if you stay where you are. This environment, I call myself, makes me aware that I have to start things up. Knowing that there is always a self to make better everyday, I always find a reason to improve.

I remember my current mentor, Sir Ed, who share this same principle that I had. I literally had goosebumps when he said that we compete against ourselves. I was glad to meet people who do not base growth on others. Here at Azeus, I jumped from doing no-brainer programming to real coding.


Point 1: Acknowledging I Have Learned Something.

Although I have seen how far I had improved from point 0, I am not able to see the end of the line of learning. In reality, there is no end to the other side of the line. I keep on learning, and mark these learning points as points of success. Upon graduating in college, I only knew Fortran, and only the basics of it. A few weeks before joining the company, I studied Java on my own. Now, I have been acquainted with so much. So much I can't tell exactly what (you know why), but I really learned.

I love where I am now because I personally get to acknowledge that I have learned something.


Point A: Because It Wasn't a Line to Begin With

Learning about programming languages is one thing. Learning about the company is another. Learning about your co-workers is still another one. Every mentor I had, every language I get to learn, is a totally new experience. When I'm at work, I have mental lists of what I have to accomplish, and these include getting to know my co-workers more.

I love my job because I like the people I'm working with, or I can find ways to enjoy their company.


Tomorrow's another day. The final phase of our training starts on Tuesday. I have so much to share, yet so little time to organize my thoughts.

I just want share a secret. I used to think that I can be successful in everything I do - with the right attitude, the right skill, and the right timing. With this company, its demands, and its fast pace, people are challenged to make two steps at a time. I'm not surprised that I often find myself lost among a bunch of codes, or stuck at a method that I can't absorb. I'm not surprised that I needed to voluntarily stay late to catch up with everyone else. I have to do things the hard way. I used to believe that efforts can take me to success.

The secret? Luckily that thinking of mine still holds. I may look tired at times, but deep inside, I say to myself that I will get this in time, or in effort, or in prayers.